Category Archives: New Parents

Please Standby…

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I love traveling! I love going to the airport and flying somewhere! I usually fly to visit my family several provinces away, or go on vacation!  How fun is that!??  Well we wanted to fly to see my family but sadly it was too expensive.  Fortunately, an amazing friend of mine gave me buddy passes to use.  The catch with this is that you have to fly standby.  That’s OK.  My friend can check the flights ahead of time and see if there is room on the flights.  We’d just pick wisely and everything would be OK.  Mr. Deaner had some reservation about this – he absolutely would have to make it back for work and showed some concern.  “What if all the flights are full and I can’t make it back in time?”  I assured him it would be fine.

So this was going to be our first time flying with baby Dino.  I was nervous about this.  First, Mr. Deaner and I pack heavy.  We always take a suitcase each and it is almost always at the maximum weight allowed!  Now we have to pack all of little Dino’s stuff with our stuff!!  Second, what if we’re that couple with the non-stop screaming baby?  Granted, this is not in his character, but knowing our luck, he would choose this exact time to wail for four hours in a small boxed-in area.  Third, this was the last flight of the day, so if it was too full, we would have to try again the next day.  Gulp.

Departure day came, we made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare and believe it or not, I managed to pack all of my items and little Dino’s into one suitcase with 5 pounds to spare!  Woot! Things are looking up! I mean this is unheard of!  This kid has stuff – and I mean a LOT of stuff!  Next item to tackle: getting on our intended flight!  We checked in and were anxiously waiting at the gate to find out if we made it on.  While we waited, Mr. Deaner got us a coffee to drink while we wait.  Guess what!? we got seats!!!! this is great!  Things are looking good!!!  Now we’re waiting for the pre-boarding announcement.  Next thing you know, I look at Mr. D and he has coffee spilled all down his shirt and pants.  Not only did he manage to get it all over him but little Dino looked like he had brown slippers on – his footsies were covered.  They were both a mess.  Mr. D gets up to go and clean himself off in the men’s room.  He wasn’t even at the bathroom when we hear the pre-boarding announcement.  Great!  by the time he got back, everyone was boarding.  That’s ok.  What I failed to mention is that when you fly with buddy passes, there is a dress code since you are representing that flight company.  Ummm how are we going to pass with Mr. D’s huge spill!??  Apparently, they didn’t notice (or care) so we made it on.  Phew!

I’ll make a short story shorter, the flight was great.  Little Dino barely cried at all and at the end of the flight when we were getting off, a few people said they didn’t even know a baby was on board! Woot! Way to go Little D!  You’re a star.

Four days later, Mr. D was going to fly back on his own to go back to work.  The day before, my friend checked his flight and there were 30 seats still available.  He would be getting on the flight no problem.  We had our usual chaotic procedure of getting everything ready and scrambling to get him to the airport on time.  We get to the counter to check his bags in and the attendant says, “ya, I don’t think you’ll be making it on this flight.”  I’m like “haha, you’re kidding right?” In my head I’m thinking, “there are tons of seats, what a little joker.  She explains that the flight before this one was canceled and all the people were being bumped on to the following flights”.  Oh no! this can’t be happening!  Mr. D HAS to get back or he’ll kill me for making him fly standby.  We were told that the best thing to do was to wait and see if he can get on the next flight.  There was no point for us to wait with him at the airport, since he had to go past security to the gate.  So we went home to wait for an update.

A little while later, I get a call from Mr. D saying there is no way he’s getting on the next flight – its full and he’s going to try to BUY a seat.  Oh man! We can’t afford this but if he has to get back to work, what can we do?  He goes to inquire and finds out there is ONE seat left.  Because it is the last seat, it is at the highest possible price!  While he was discussing this with the person at the counter, it sold! right before their very eyes.  (THANK GOD!) Who in their right mind would pay that amount – someone more desperate than Mr. D I guess.  Since he wasn’t getting on the next flight, and the following flights were 5 hours later, we went back to the airport to bring him home.  I was on the phone with the flight company to see what flight he had the best chances of getting on.  We were given an option that looked good so a few hours later, we took Mr. D back to the airport and said we’d wait to hear from him to see if he made it on.  If he didn’t get on this flight, he was just going to try again the next day.  We sit and wait, and wait, and wait.  Finally, I get a text from him saying he would have gotten on but he couldn’t find his photo ID so they wouldn’t let him on!  WHAT!???  ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME!??  I lost it at this point!  A minute later, I got another text saying ha ha, just kidding.  I’m in!  My husband is working on timing for jokes.  Long story short, he made it home safe and sound.

A week and a half later, it was my turn to fly home.  I wasn’t nervous about getting on a flight because I was flexible.  I was nervous, however, about flying on my own with Little D.  There would be no one to share the embarrassment if little D screamed, and no one to help with bags and folding up the stroller etc.  As I mentioned earlier, it’s usually last minute chaos on the day we’re leaving.  For some reason, we’re always running late.  Well not this time, I took my time and packed everything up and we were just going to sit and relax for a bit before we left.  My friend had checked the day before and there were 40 seats open on my flight so we’re fine!  While I was sitting around, I noticed a call coming through on my cell.  it was my friend.  She tells me that she happened to be checking my flight and she couldn’t find it.  IT HAD BEEN CANCELLED!  is this a joke!???  Oh my goodness!  I kid you not people, this is true.  She tells me the best option, if I want to leave that day, is to catch the flight before it because there are tons of seats still.  (I guess no one else knew the flight was cancelled yet)  Before I can run to the airport, I have to officially change my standby ticket on the phone.  I don’t have a lot of time! I call and the wait time is 30 minutes!!! oh man.  I eventually get through and they change me to the flight before which looks very open!  but the system wouldn’t transfer little D onto my ticket.  The system was giving them trouble and I kept getting put on hold while they tried to resolve this.  Are you kidding me!? I’m not going to make it in time for this flight and there is no point in trying for the one after because everyone would be bumped from the canceled flight and it would be full.  I know I said I was flexible for when I left but Mr. D really missed us and if we didn’t catch this flight, we wouldn’t be able to fly for a couple days because the flights were full!

They eventually resolve the issue and we boot it to the airport only to find my flight is delayed 20 minutes! Yay because I have more time, Boo! because more people might realize their flight was canceled and get on this one.  Well while I was checking in my luggage, the lady was soooo sweet and gave me an actual seat because there were lots of seats available and she knows how difficult it is flying standby with a baby!  WOW!!! How amazing is she!?  Thank you!   Now all I had to do was survive the flight with Little D.

We pre-boarded and I took the time to get his bottles ready, his wipes, his toys and all the other things he might need.

Little Dino’s stuff.

He was amazing and didn’t give me any trouble at all.  As we got closer to preparing for the descent, I changed his cute little bum and was ready for landing.  As the plane is about to land, don’t I feel that all-too familiar vibration in little D’s bum?

RUMBLE

RUMBLE

RUMBLE

Then I felt it again, and again and again.  Yo peeps, this was not a fart.  This was the real thing!  Oh crap! (Pun intended)  Then came the scent.  oh crap. oh crap.  Then, you guessed it – came the leak.  It exploded up his back and was coming through.  Yes, a little got on my pants!  As soon as the seat belt sign was off, I squeezed myself through people in the aisle to get to the bathroom and change him.  I had to hold him from under his arms and away from me so his backside didn’t rub on my clothes! ha ha  anyways, we got him changed and cleaned up so he could meet his daddy.

So not only was this my first flight with a baby but my first time to fly STANDBY which just happened to be with my baby.

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Times have changed.

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My family lives far away and I  love to visit them –  it’s never long enough!  Back in the day, whenever I’d go home, I’d have quite the welcome!  My niece and nephew would run and give me hugs and kisses and wouldn’t want to leave my side!  My parents would make my favourite meals and just pamper me and I LOVED every second of it!

Then I married Mr. D.  All of a sudden, my niece and nephew would run to Mr. D instead of me.  It was Mr. D’s favourite meals and some of mine that we’d eat and still a lot of pampering.

Now, times have changed!  I remember when I was preggers, everyone was always asking how I was doing and how I was feeling.  Someone told me that once the baby is born, no one will care about me and only the baby will get attention.  They weren’t kidding!!!  We recently flew home and my parents quickly pushed me aside with a ‘hello’ and were all over Little Dino!  My niece and nephew barely noticed us and were all over the baby as well.  ‘What are we? Chopped Liver?’  I’m not jealous of my little one, but hello!? I just flew all the way here. How about some lovin’???

Every morning we wake up (it’s not pretty) and we come downstairs.  I get a quick good morning and then every one focuses their attention on Little D.  They talk to him in baby voice trying to get his attention and adorable smiles and loving every second of it.  The person carrying the little fart machine is barely noticed.  Apparently, not only have I lost baby weight, I’ve become invisible!

Whenever I’d leave to fly back home, my mom would tear up (every time), my dad’s lip would quiver (but he wasn’t crying).  When Mr. D came along, I’d say the tears were equivalent for both of us.  My parents wouldn’t want us to leave and were dreading how long it would be before our next visit.  NOW, I’m being told to plan to leave alone and little D will be staying with grandma and grandpa.  WHAT!!??? I can leave!?  You used to beg me to stay longer and hated that I had to go back and now I can just go?  Just leave my little munchkin behind?  I wonder if they’ll give me a ride tomorrow or just tell me to take a cab!!  They might be too busy smuggling little D away from me.

It’s OK, I’m a mom now and I have to take the ‘behind the scenes’ role now.  I guess I’m just nothing.

Tomorrow, Little Dino and I are flying solo (get it? It’s literal!), Mr. D had to fly back early to go to work.  I’m sure I’ll have something to say about our adventures flying home on the next post.

NOTE:

My mom threatened to write a blog about me due to defamation of character. HA HA  My family has been awesome and have pampered all of us!  But Little D really does get all the attention! and they have threatened to kidnap him. That’s the truth!

I fear the worst…

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So here I am on a Monday morning, working on my grocery list that I started LAST Thursday!

93/365: grocery list

I think I might be done (ya before the week I’m planning for is over).  Now I just have to motivate myself to go out 🙂  You all know what I mean.  If I go out, I will actually have to change out of my PJ’s – which means I get to play ‘what fits me?’ again as I peruse all the clothes I used to wear before my belly stretched out in huge proportions and will never stuff back into my pants the same again.  I also will have to put on some make up – which takes time and can be a challenge while little Dino screams for affection, attention or food.  Oh! and the thinning rat’s nest I call ‘hair’ on the top of my head needs attention – there is no hope.  Man! I can just wear a baseball cap to deal with that but then I have to re-evaluate my outfit – it still has to match! come on! I still have some standards!

So I was thinking about some scary things – I touched on two above.  You may think they are silly but these are real, true, legitimate fears!  Don’t mock me.  I wonder if any of you are afraid of the same things?   By the way, I started this post yesterday, it is now Tuesday and no I was not able to motivate myself to do any groceries yesterday.  Back to my scary list.

1.  Going Bald

Moon Scape of Bald Head

Moon Scape of Bald Head (Photo credit: malehmann)

I mean – I heard women lose hair after having a baby but no one mentioned the mass clumps they come out in.  I do not joke!  I was washing my hair – yes a rare occasion these days – and my hands were literally covered in hair.  I had hair mitts! YES! Mittens made of my hair – with NO HOLES!  I wonder if I could somehow weave the hairs together and sell hair mitts? – they sure do keep you warm.  I know in the winter, the back of my neck stays warm with what used to be thick hair…why not hands too?  I guess I can always wear wigs – that would solve the washing my hair dilemma.

2.  Someone stealing little D from his room via his window

Yes, it might sound silly to you but I watch movies and TV and this is a very normal occurrence.  This was one of the reasons I struggled with putting little Dino in his own room.  The other day, there was a glitch with little D’s monitor, the screen froze.  (Yes, we have video monitors – Mr. D likes technology and toys 🙂 )  Anyways, I had already gotten little D from his crib and brought him back to my room, yet the monitor was still showing little D in his crib!  What?  then I thought I foiled a kidnapper’s plan to steal my precious little guy.  Listen people, they do this in the movies all the time.  You know when robbers are planning to break in to a heavily monitored building?  They freeze the monitors so that security guards THINK they are looking at empty hallways, when in fact, there is a major heist going on.  You see…so maybe a kidnapper froze our monitors so we would THINK little D was sleeping in his crib when in fact they were in his room trying to take him!  We would never know until it was too late!  Luckily, I got him before they had a chance and we haven’t had an issue with the monitors since – that we know of.

3. Projectile poop

I have heard of projectile poop but have not experienced it yet.  I fear this every time I change little D!  Have you ever been cleaning your child and they are exposed and they let a huge fart rip!??  This has happened a few times and I jump TEN feet but so far nothing has escaped but air.  I fear the day this happens!  I will probably be dressed up for a wedding or something fancy and will end up with it in my hair and it will shoot across the room, all over the dresser/lamp and carpet 😦  You know how on CSI when they use those funky lights to find traces of blood in rooms?  If CSI had that same contraption for pee, they’d find it on the walls, lamp and yes, carpet.  We’ve cleaned it up as best we can but poo – that’s another story!

4. Dino’s Flat Head

baby helmet

I hadn’t really thought much of it until last week in my mom and baby group.  Someone mentioned how paranoid they are about their baby having a flat head and then a few of the other moms piped up with the same fear.  Then there was talk of seeing specialists and wearing helmets and so on.  It wasn’t until then that we started noticing little D’s head has gotten flat in the back.  WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? A kid this age is supposed to sleep 16-18 hours a day – this is what we’re told.  We are also told to lie them on their backs to sleep to reduce the risk of SIDS.  If you spen

t 18 hours a day lying on the back of your head – wouldn’t it go flat!?? and then doctors are concerned!???  What the heck!???  I don’t want little D wearing a helmet! I saw a kid in the mall once with this helmet and it is NOT cute!!! ugggg Can you imagine a bald mother with a helmet head baby?

5. Never have a flat tummy again

.Beer belly

I use the term ‘flat tummy’ loosely as one might argue it never really was.  I was shocked to find out that you still look 7 months pregnant after having your baby!  I mean, they removed at least 10 pounds (baby plus icky fluids), why didn’t it look that way?  Seeing how dismally slow the stomach actually shrinks is depressing.  Do I actually have to do work to try to make it smaller? When is that supposed to happen?  I didn’t have much time before baby, and you think I have time after?  I have very few clothes to wear – I can’t fit in my pregger pants – they’re too loose.  I can’t fit in my non-pregger pants – they’re too tight! oh what is a girl to do!?  Yes, some of you might say shop but 1) on what budget? my maternity leave budget!? ha! 2) who wants to buy fat pants? – doesn’t make me feel good at all.  For now, elastic waste pants it is!  Whoever invented the elastic is a genios!!!

Anyone else share the same fears? or what else? I left out the obvious of little D getting sick or hurting himself somehow cause thats pretty normal – but again, I think the above is normal too.

OH I BETTER GO! I just heard the ‘gurgle-swish’ sound.  Better go investigate before it leaks!